Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize