You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
