Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
