You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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