everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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