dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
