drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You need Xanax blowdarts
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I am available for nakedness
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
