It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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