I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
