singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
