can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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