So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
