I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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