yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
