Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
