I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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