haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
