1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
