Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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