You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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