The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
