Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
