on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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