he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
