he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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