i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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