Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
