I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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