Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
