Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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