Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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