He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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