Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
