YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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