i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
handjob tips. give me some.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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