So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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