I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I can't turn off my feet"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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