oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize