OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
