We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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