shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
