Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
