dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
