the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize