STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
