Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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