I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
