I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
