Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
