My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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