The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
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