I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
