Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
