my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
