it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
