I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
3 2 1 whiskey
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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