apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize