I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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