if i died would you start the facebook group?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
