I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize