is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
