I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
