Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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