Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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