You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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