My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
