your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
