we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
me + whiskey = a bad person
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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